Financially secured, my private life began in May 1973. To be relieved from the daily rat race and an ever-increasing workload was truly enjoyable. Trying to forget the office as fast as possible, Moock and I decided to undertake finally the often delayed journey to Europe which I had not seen since our emigration. For 90 days we traveled around the old continent beginning with Portugal and Spain. We walked through Florence and Rome in Italy and admired the majesty of the Alpine mountains and the picturesque, little villages clinging to the green pastures of Upper Austria. My hometown Munich, resurrected from the ruins, was more gorgeous and livelier than ever. We visited relatives and friends and listened patiently to their woes and worries. But amidst that storm of events, I felt a strong longing for our home in Alabama, the shelter we have built after a long road covered with obstacles and difficulties. There was my heart. Europe is the revered soil on which so many enlightened individuals have walked, but America’s vastness and wild beauty radiate the generosity to embrace the lost and hopeless looking for a place to breathe. How glad I was to feel again the exuberant Alabama sunshine as we entered our house enthusiastically greeted by Fifi, our pet dog. All the memories returned so dear to us: our boy’s homecoming from college, the parties, weddings, and family reunions. Indeed the mainstream of our lifeblood circulated through this home.
“Many people seemed to be annoyed when I talked about my compositions. Even my best friends avoided coming in touch with them. Why?”
Fall and winter passed. Come spring, however, a dam burst in my breast, a flood of music broke loose, stowed away for 15 years, like a tidal wave. My head was glowing with musical ideas and I wrote and wrote compositions of many a variety. How come that all my attempts to present them to the public were doomed to failure? Many people seemed to be annoyed when I talked about my compositions. Even my best friends avoided coming in touch with them. Why? I thought about it long and hard. Did I lack the inner conviction of their worthiness? Are the people already overburdened with music and grown tired? Maybe something new and absolutely striking was expected that I could not deliver? Whatever the reason, I might as well have chased a phantom all my life and began gradually now to look beyond music, beyond the sensual world and material-bound endeavors in general, which keep us so busy.
A new world opened up infinitely more subtle and exciting than everything experienced before. Man has wings to escape the daily encroachment of trifles, I discovered, and X-ray eyes to penetrate the multifaceted forms and splendid shapes of creation. Eminent are the qualities bestowed upon us, the power to grasp, not merely think of, the vibrating energy radiating through the cosmos which we all are a part of, the power to tune into the electrifying, ever-rejuvenating current of life forces surrounding us, and flowing through our being with vivifying intensity. Whoever dares to take a glimpse behind the veil will bow his head in humbleness and become magnetically drawn to the luminous miracle, the eternal spirit, the source, and essence of infinite life, the ocean in which we will be immersed once our physical vestige is about to vanish, a light still shining when dreams and hopes float to the ground like dry leaves and the wild horses of our cherished ambitions are rendered lame. Late approached the light, but finally, it convened piercing forth after a long journey through darkness and ignorance, mistakes and suffering.
What is this light which brought so much comfort into my life? How does one find it?
At the end of World War II, many people believed the world had seen enough slaughtering and misery. A new millennium of peace and happiness was due to emerge out of the shattering experience. Mankind will rise to heights of civilization unimagined before. Indeed a great vision and a great illusion also. Now, thirty years later we realize the horrors of war, famine, diseases, and natural disasters have not only never ceased to harass the nations, but increased rather in intensity like a furiously growing hurricane. Great sadness fills the heart gazing at this dreadful aspect of life, which makes one believe that misery is an integral part of life nobody can escape. Whoever feels touched by the angel of darkness is delivered to his destiny with hands bound, so it appears.
Searching for reasons, however, we find there is a condition, a fertile ground that breeds suffering. Our bad habits and weaknesses, mental and spiritual blindness, passion and ignorance, the stark entanglement in the cobweb of material desires, fear, the lust for power, and indulgence in sensual pleasures are directly responsible for our woes. Yet, cognizance of the underlying reasons will not change anything or make the misery go away lest we gain an entirely different perspective towards life by enhancing our awareness of the manifold relations we are woven in. Awareness is one of the options we have as individuals to cope with the oppressive forces that engender suffering. Awareness is an attempt to approach scientifically the mysteries of life and unsolved human problems.
In the following treatise, I tried to explore those relations in such important fields as:
- Our spiritual origin
- Vibrations, the medium of communications.
- The Law of Cause and Effect.
- Mind control.
- The Ultimate Reality.
- Spiritual qualities.
- Let us relax and think of our body as a miraculous mechanism of flawlessly interacting organs. What a phenomenon! Each body member consists of living cells, all stemming from one prototype, a single cell that contains within the tiny core a blueprint of the final form of a human being. Scientists tell us each cell is composed of molecules and each molecule is a magnificent structure of atoms and each atom represents a very complex unit of concentrated, balanced energy, the apparent essence of life. So intricate and awesome is this design that one feels compelled to bow his head in reverence and admiration. The building blocks of atoms are so far the last perceivable units that constitute matter. Should we dare to ask what is beyond? A great designer? Words are really not adequate to express what is beyond the visible creation. But there are no other means at our disposal to define opinions, speculations, or insight, whatever one may call it, in regard to our origin. I dislike employing the word “God,” because it is so often carelessly used and diluted. Let me instead name the Designer and Source of Life “Spirit.” To me, it means the unmanifested, intelligent, universal, creative energy that manifests itself by an act of will in billions of distinctly varying forms, all of them assembled with atoms, the building blocks of the entire universe. The thought is intriguing to see my own body, not as a gross product of flesh and blood, but more so as a transparent structure of numberless flashing nodal points each one highly charged with energy, not blind energy, but energy moved and directed by conscious intelligence, the Spirit. This is the mystery and logical conclusion: the Spirit is not only in us, the Spirit is us by virtue of the creative power which called us into life without any contribution of our own. To feel the presence of this energy in us is an extraordinary privilege. I said “feel” in order to indicate that Spirit is not perceivable intellectually or sensually, but only by intuition, the instrument of cognition at a level different from our sensual perception. How we comprehend Spirit, however, is pretty much irrelevant as long as we attain the rich, tangible awareness of the eternally creative intelligence in us. So strongly anchored should the awareness of the Spirit be in our consciousness that we are able to pursue confidently our daily business and yet know at every moment the Spirit is in us, beside us, and guiding us safely through the chaotic pell-mell of life.
- By the process of manifestation the spiritual energy was set in motion and began to vibrate. All matter, the entire creation vibrates at widely different rates. The trillions of atoms, our body is composed of, oscillate at certain rates. Everything we feel, every thought, and what we say and do sends forth waves of vibrations that set up magnetic fields around us attracting or repelling other living creatures we come in touch with.
The vibrations emanating from us have a significant impact on our environment and ourselves. Therefore, we had better understand clearly how much it matters what kind of vibrations we let flow from us because in time they return like a boomerang hitting or comforting us in accordance with our own intentions. An organized mind radiates vibrations charged with concentrated strength that attracts every mind of like characteristics. Successful people have such powerful vibrations, while persons with distracted minds are surrounded by a repulsive vibratory aura.
Whenever fatigued and in a receptive mood, let us be cautious not to absorb unpleasant and unwanted vibrations which pollute our mind and exert a negative influence upon us. Such vibrations tend to ruin our most intimate visions. Do we not wonder sometimes why plans which appeared so great yesterday seemed to be dull and boring today?
Over a wide range stretch the vibrational rates. A small part of them only can be grasped by us due to the inherent limitations of our senses. Let’s face it in humbleness. Man is not the measure of all things. There exist so many phenomena beyond our sensual perceptions which may remain hidden and impenetrable. - Looking into the whirling mass of vibrative forces one marvels at what keeps them in balance. It is the Law of Cause and Effect – meaning every action produces a reaction. This law is very well understood and applied in the field of mechanics, but its significance and validity within the terrain of human relations are hardly comprehended. It makes no difference if we are aware of it or not, this law governs all our actions, too. It works with mathematical precision and, therefore, we ought to be alert prior to any of our efforts since our most vital interests in the daily game of life will be affected in a positive or negative way. But beyond our material-bound involvement, we should not lose sight of the fact that through the system of balanced vibrational forces we can play a beneficial role within the great cosmic concept of which we are a part.
- Awareness is accomplished by our mind, the powerful, complex, and most versatile instrument we are endowed with. Libraries have been written about the nature and characteristics of the mind, issues which are not considered within the scope of this exposition. My objective extends to the capability of awareness and mind control only. The important questions are: Do we use our minds effectively? How and for what purpose? Are we in control of it or not? Too often the mind is beset by instincts, those subconscious traits, instead of being guided by conscious alertness. Push the mind. Make it act like a laser beam. Throw the weight of willpower behind. Let the mind become the concentrated light of awareness that cuts through the dross around us and searches for the veiled mystery in us. May we recognize what our mind really is: A reflection of the Infinite Mind behind the Universe that truly mirrors the Eternal Spirit; is fully aware of the ocean of ethereal forces we are immersed; is selective, free to change at will, and able to focus on any subject for any length of time; knows its origin and stays unattached and unaffected by the poisonous cravings of the material world. So, if you are going to meet the Spirit, come prepared with undivided attention and leave the baggage behind.
- Let me repeat it over and over again. We ought to develop an enduring and inquisitive awareness of the Spirit’s presence in us, around us, and everywhere within the entire creation. Our life simply cannot be brought into proper perspective unless we develop a firm feeling for eternity and project our goals from material aspirations to the Eternal Reality, the Spirit. Too insignificant is our being and too short the time granted to let us be chained with every fiber to the present temporary existence. Is our brief life not similar to a TV picture that is snuffed out when the power fails? Go and discern sharply the temporary from the ultimate reality, the everlasting Spirit. Being keenly aware of this reality does not mean retiring from daily activities. There is nothing wrong with living a normal life, having a family, going to work, making money, and enjoying hobbies. But to be eaten up by such activities and completely forget the spiritual origin has grave consequences. Be warned. Without awareness of the Spirit in us, we dry up. Our life energy has to be replenished constantly by activating the tremendous energy stored in us which will be released by spiritual awareness only. It is one of these unwritten laws. Just look around and notice how true it is.
- The more ardent our awareness embraces the Spirit in us, the clearer we reflect special spiritual qualities which separate us from those pitiful souls who are clamped down by the shackles of material dependency. What are these qualities or, expressed more exactly, gifts which proved undeniably our affiliation with the rejuvenating power of the Spirit in us?
a. Joy, the pure lasting joy incomparable to the fast-fading delights stemming from sensual pleasures. Blissful joy beyond description that fills even the hidden corners of our consciousness and becomes apparent in every word and gesture. Joy, ever-increasing joy, the morning kiss of the ascending Spirit.
b. Inner peace and tranquility unshaken by exterior events. The prevalent mood that restores the contact with Infinity.
Freedom of the mind, which cannot be broken or taken away. Freedom from the strong bondage to the material world. Freedom that forges our mind to be untouchable and unattached, the ideal of those who love independency and root in the Spirit.
d. Harmony, the perfect coordination and interaction of body and mind; may our being oscillate uninhibited and undisturbed by wrong signals from the material region and sing like a fine-tuned Stradivari violin the animating sweet melody of the Spirit in us.
e. Widsom, the divine presence not to be mistaken for intellectual knowledge. Wisdom is not alone a compendium of experiences stored in our brain nor does it evolve from special associations of the neurons. Wisdom emanates from the Spirit within and can be perceived only by intuition, a faculty that awakens and grows with greater awareness. Intuition acts like a filter that catches the tenuous rays oozing from Spirit and opens a new array of hidden relations. In deep meditation, we will find the channels to the wisdom-laden intelligence dormant in us.
f. Love, the most difficult of all spiritual qualities and the most intimate one also, ever in need of universal understanding. We are really not capable to love with compassion unless we are fully aware that every human being, regardless of how evil and wicked, is like ourselves a manifestation of the eternal Spirit. We cannot pass up this uncomfortable truth. Love is a cosmic gift meant to be shared not only with human beings but with animals and plants, too. They are all included in the miraculous process of creation and love is the cord tying us to them.
- Let us relax and think of our body as a miraculous mechanism of flawlessly interacting organs. What a phenomenon! Each body member consists of living cells, all stemming from one prototype, a single cell that contains within the tiny core a blueprint of the final form of a human being. Scientists tell us each cell is composed of molecules and each molecule is a magnificent structure of atoms and each atom represents a very complex unit of concentrated, balanced energy, the apparent essence of life. So intricate and awesome is this design that one feels compelled to bow his head in reverence and admiration. The building blocks of atoms are so far the last perceivable units that constitute matter. Should we dare to ask what is beyond? A great designer? Words are really not adequate to express what is beyond the visible creation. But there are no other means at our disposal to define opinions, speculations, or insight, whatever one may call it, in regard to our origin. I dislike employing the word “God,” because it is so often carelessly used and diluted. Let me instead name the Designer and Source of Life “Spirit.” To me, it means the unmanifested, intelligent, universal, creative energy that manifests itself by an act of will in billions of distinctly varying forms, all of them assembled with atoms, the building blocks of the entire universe. The thought is intriguing to see my own body, not as a gross product of flesh and blood, but more so as a transparent structure of numberless flashing nodal points each one highly charged with energy, not blind energy, but energy moved and directed by conscious intelligence, the Spirit. This is the mystery and logical conclusion: the Spirit is not only in us, the Spirit is us by virtue of the creative power which called us into life without any contribution of our own. To feel the presence of this energy in us is an extraordinary privilege. I said “feel” in order to indicate that Spirit is not perceivable intellectually or sensually, but only by intuition, the instrument of cognition at a level different from our sensual perception. How we comprehend Spirit, however, is pretty much irrelevant as long as we attain the rich, tangible awareness of the eternally creative intelligence in us. So strongly anchored should the awareness of the Spirit be in our consciousness that we are able to pursue confidently our daily business and yet know at every moment the Spirit is in us, beside us, and guiding us safely through the chaotic pell-mell of life.
If we just could awaken to the perception of the Spirit. Imagine how much it would mend everyone’s life. Fancy the radical change instigated by the all-encompassing awareness of the intelligent life energy our being is imbued with. To bring forth, however, the realization of our pure Self, the Spirit in us, much more is required than merely thinking of it occasionally. Awareness is achieved only by imposing a rigid schedule upon ourselves voluntarily before we are forced to obey involuntary restrictions. Nobody has ever learned any craftsmanship by reading books only. Practice is the key to any skill.
The ancient art of meditation, as developed by Hindu sages thousands of years ago is a very effective tool to attain inner awareness. I don’t know of any better method to achieve such an intimate experience. For that reason, it seems appropriate to give here a brief outline of how to meditate.
Retire to a quiet, dimly lightened place. Sit on a chair, keep the spine straight and put the hands upon the thighs. Close your eyes and fix your gaze to the point between the eyebrows. Relax completely, physically and mentally. Go through the whole body to be sure no trace of tension is left in any member. Address mentally, without moving the lips, the powerful, eternally creative Spirit. Speak into the darkness, give praise and express your gratitude while sinking deeper and deeper into the illumined mystery. Become totally absorbed, so much, to lose contact with the five senses and be out of reach of unwanted and obnoxious thoughts ascending from the subconscious region. In general, the beginner encounters difficulties to keep their thoughts in line. They tend to jump around like grasshoppers and wander away. Once you notice the mind is gone astray, bring it back gently and start again. Don’t be discouraged. In time we learn to hold our thoughts together. In meditation, awareness unfolds marvelous wonders beyond expectations and leaves us in a state of assurance and safety. As we meander mentally through the various fields of awareness and communicate with the Spirit in us, we will be bathed in unfathomable joy. The small space of consciousness expands vastly and touches Infinity. Floating in animated suspension the Spirit reveals its holiness and purity, its radiant pulchritude and transparent clarity. The intensive experience keeps us breathless and spellbound to the last fiber. Transcending the limit of sensual perceptions intuition opens the channels. We see without eyes and hear without ears the silent steps of the Spirit’s glorious coming.
Returning to the world’s bustling noise, watchfulness is needed not to lose the precious gift, the tangible contact with the Spirit. It is so easy to be swallowed by the busy haste of modern life. Daily we should take out some time for contemplation and the cultivation of awareness. Some spend hours every day maintaining physical fitness. But spiritual fitness is equally essential. In fact, it should be our first priority. Maybe it does not appeal to everybody. But let me ask you, how can anyone judge the richness of the spiritual reward who walks around blinded by material splendor? I know, as far as I am concerned, these pages have been written not only to present my own lofty experiences but more so to give thanks for what I have received.
At this point, I would like to express also my deep and sincere gratitude to Gurudeva Paramahansa Yogananda, founder of the Self-Realization Fellowship in San Rafael, California. To him, the venerable. Master, I owe my spiritual training, the radical change of my views and habits, the joy and health, enlightenment and exuberance of my present days.
Thus dressed with the garment woven from spiritual gifts, I am able to await the last day serenely when the mortal dream is drawing to an end. The glowing mystery of the Spirit I was allowed to have a glimpse of in deep meditation, will lead me through the final transformation as my whole organism changes and the physical form is left to dissolution, and my spiritual being flows away to be united joyfully with the Eternal Cosmic Light where we all came from.